3.19.03
The war has started and I feel helpless. There's not much I can do.
Diminuto como hormiga.
Cherrie Moraga came to P4P today. She read some of her poetry from
loving in the war years. She read from an essay
and play she's working on. She's a xingon strong xicana. la admiro mucho.
At fifty years old, her voice is full of wisdom. She talked about how
indegenismo, nationalism, feminism, marxism are all in her. Sometimes
some come up more than others. I think she was talking about the same
thing that Chela Sandoval talks about in methodology of the oppressed,
we shift years in order to remain oppositional.
Toco mi corazon. She talked about the necesity of maintaining our
historical and cultural specificity when forming coalitions with
other peoples. That it's cool to have a women's group or xicana or arab,
cuz we need to feel comfortable, have good communication,
"not wasting time making others feel good about themselves,"
i think she was referring to white people or the middle class who
join people of color groups out of self guilt. but she also said
that it was cool to organize for issues, without gender or
ethnicity as a base, is just that more energy is lost in trying
to keep the group in the same boat.
trajo a rafael, that kid is cool. he knows karate. i had met him
before when i helped Xeri do a play at her son's elementary. man,
that boy is lucky to have such a mom, he's already acting, he's
Cesar Chavez in the school's play.
Xeri also talked about the anti-war movement. she said something
that i already knew but hadn't thought about for a while: sacrifice.
the world thinks that we are a democracy, and so they blame us for
what bushimp is doing to Iraq and the world. she said that in order
to make our voice heard here and abroad, we need to put our
bodies in the line. people need to get arrested, even die. if
we are to stop the U.S. empire, people have to be willing to
die fighting. Just like Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X,
and Cesar Chavez, just like Che Guevara and Emiliano Zapata
and today's Zapatistas; we should be prepare to die. the
stakes are that high. the U.S. will become a global empire
if no one stops it.
and i think about my daughter and Alejandra. i don't want to do
anything stupid that will harm them. i want to be there for my daughter.
but i also understand that i'm responsible for the type of world my daughter
grows in. Ale and I brought Celeste to this world. I don't want her to live
like the Palestinian and Iraqi children live now, in fear. Death is an
everyday occurrence to many children in the world. Just look at the
continent of Africa were poverty, violence and AIDS kill millions of people.
I don't want my daughter to grow up in this world.
Pero la gente aun se enamora, hace el amor, tiene hijos, reza a dios o al
sol o a la madre tierra, tiene esperanza. "where there's power, there's
resistance." yo voy a pelear. i need to answer the questions. How much human
suffering I'm I willing to witness before I get my ass to do something? How
much I'm I willing to sacrifice for peace with dignity for all people? How
much comfort, convenience, entertainment, ego, good looks, I'm a willing to
sacrifice for the well being of other human beings? From little as to just
eating less meat (could I live w/out meat? i'm mexican you know), less sugar,
coffee. I need to get myself unhooked from caffeine. i drive my car a lot,
i need it to get to work and drive to the high schools i work with, drive to
berkeley for p4p, to visit my wife and daughter in Salinas. At least I think
about this things, and I try to "repay/makeup" by giving my time and thoughts
to the people. mis estudiantes.
Xeri talked about how teaching is reciprocal. Those you teach, teach other,
and they others, and so on. If I convince, through dialogue, 3 people about
how war with Iraq is fucked up, and they each convince another 3, and so on,
this exponential growth can mean the end to war, if that people decide to do
something. i hope.
I'm also worry about possible reprisal from the gov. for my open opposition
against the war. I know that people all over the U.S. are getting in trouble
for voicing out their disgust at fucken president bushit. let them come.
bueno, i need to put together a love poem for my wife, a quien quiero mucho.
we have been working things out. our immaturity and regret for getting marry
and having a daughter so young. we are forgiving each other for all the shit
we have said and done in the past. some fighting is good, especially before sex.
now that i'm going to enter grad school, i know that we have many battles ahead,
but i think we went through the worst part already.
Quetzalli, hija mia. espero que al crecer seas una mujer fuerte y humilde,
una xicana que se entrega al pueblo. que me mires como un amigo, un ejemplo
de alguien que supo amar a los demas porque cada persona es hermosa y tiene
derecho a la vida. espero que aprendas, que tu felicidad esta atada a la
felicidad de otros. que no puede haber justicia aqui, si no hay justicia
en otros lados. bueno, veremos.
love!
Stop the war!
Ahora y siempre, LIBRE!
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